Counting My Blessings

Holy Cow...has it really been 4 MONTHS since I have posted?!? Well, a lot has happened I suppose that I have just not taken the time to really put this all down on "paper". I know that life is unpredictable, but I never thought I would suffer from an experience like I did. I am partly writing this out because I originally started this blog as some what of a diary for myself but also for those who heard through the grapevine but don't know exactly what happened.
Brandon and I became pregnant back in May. Not knowing to be excited, nervous, scared, etc...we knew it would be fine. Unplanned pregnancies are the best, right? That's how we received our wonderful Madison:) We became comfortable with the news about five weeks later. It was the Fourth of July and we decided to tell family and a FEW friends. After a PERFECT pregnancy with Maddy, I never suspected anything would go wrong.
On July 27 I began bleeding...got a little freaked out..read on the internet and found it wasn't THAT uncommon. Of course made an appointment with the doctor on Monday the 27 to find out that I had miscarried. Although I had a feeling of insecurity the whole time, I still didn't expect the news. I mean, I was told I was the "most consistant patient" during my first pregnancy. How could this happen to me? I may have been a little unsure of the pregnancy at first but I never wanted to lose the precious life. I cotinued to bleed for about two weeks. The doctor gave me the option to "pass" it on my own or have D&C. I chose to do it myself. It was the easiest miscarriage I had ever heard of...so I thought. After the two weeks, nothing. I thought it was all over and now I know I should have gone back for a check up. Almost three months later, on the way home from the Vet, on the phone with my husband, I began to bleed uncontrolably while driving. As I pulled into the driveway I could barely put the brake on because of the pain. I darted out of the car, into the house. I won't go into too much detail, but will say that my husband said it looked like a crime scene from all of the blood. It was by far the worst day of my life. I was incapacitated. I was on the bathroom floor, in the fetal postiion for an hour and a half before crawling to the bed. The doctor said the worst should have passed and come in Monday morning. Monday morning....it happened all over again. I had a sonogram that confirmed after all of that, there was still a good amount of the sack left inside. I was then given 3 pills to take every 12 hours to increase the contracting of the uterus and passing of it all. Nothing happened. I missed my best friends birthday because I was scared to leave the house. Wednesday morning I went for yet another sono, just to find out that again...after it all...I would have to have the surgery of a D&C done. I was immediately admitted and scheduled for surgery about 12:30pm. I remember nothing about the surgery. The meds were amazing and apparently had me a little loopy, according to my husband:) I slept the whole day and night and woke up to my old self the next day.
I wasn't too emotionally effected by the loss due to my faith in the Lord and support of my family and friends. I know that for whatever reason it wasn't supposed to happen for us that time. It's a tragedy that it took 3 months to get passed but it's over now. We are starting over. Who knows if we will have another opportunity to have another baby, but I know at this moment that I am thankful for what I do have. I never thought I would be a mom to ONE child, much less two, so I am incredibly thankful for that. Not to brag or anything, but I feel that I haven't had a whole lot of "heartache" in my life, so maybe this was my time for a realization....not to take for granted.
I count my blessings often now, as I should have before. I have a husband and best friend that works and therefore allows me to stay home with our daughter, an amazing family and friends support that is beyond words and my belief in the Lord that will always guide me and never give me more than I can handle.
I hope to pick back up with this whole blogging thing...it feels good:)

On the road again...

Well, we are at the end of day 4 with Brandon being in Oklahoma. He's off to work some major storms again. I thought it would be really tough getting back into the swing of things but we had such a nice couple of weeks with him being in Dallas, that it's been okay. My goal is to have the house looking better than it has in a while by Friday, when he gets home. The hard part is going to be the closet...ugh it's just so spacious that I tend to let it pile up. I am very anxious for what the next few months will bring...
Shelly will have baby Brooks at the end of July, my Aunt will finish the last of her chemo treatments and my in-laws are turning 55 and 60! Those are great birthdays to celebrate, right?! We're all hoping all goes well but only time will tell...my father-in-law just started his first round of chemo-therapy two weeks ago (I believe he has 17 more to go). It was a very scary thing for all of us no matter how much we talked or didn't talk about it. He did surprisingly well according to the nurses, so I just ask that everyone keep him in your prayers while reading this. He is by far the most courageous, loyal, and giving man I know (maybe that's where my husband gets it). He is turning 60 in August and we are hoping to spend some great family time together on vacation if he is up for it. Keep your fingers crossed and prayers going!!
I can't remember what all I was hoping to blog about at this point because I've now gotten all emotional. Maybe next time...

Grateful...

So I just celebrated Mother's Day #2...the day ended pretty good I would say...

It all started with my neighbor and I getting the bright idea to make french toast for breakfast...we prepared it the night before. She didn't give me detailed instructions on what to do in the morning besides take the dish of soaked bread out of the fridge and bake it - WRONG! It was a big pile of mush!! So, then I thought I would make egg sandwiches (Brandon's favorite) but I soon thought "why I am trying to go out of my way to COOK something on MY day?" We had a few errands to run anyway so we decided to go to Sonic - nutritious I know. Of course this is where it went down hill....the order was wrong and Brandon didn't want to go back because he hates doing so. I see it as I am the paying customer so I should get what I am paying for. We then stop at an Exxon and when Brandon gets back to the car he is on the phone....it was the worst call to get (for me). We had been planning on him being in Dallas for the week..the first time in a MONTH...but NO it was a call saying he was going to Austin once again. When he told me I was completely overwhelmed that I looked out the window and broke down. Every time I tried to say something I cried even harder. Because my husband is so wonderful he simply told them he could not leave on Sunday but would leave first thing Monday morning...and that's what he did. He was so incredibly sweet that he just put his arm around me and let me cry because he knew how disappointed I was. It's one thing if we had planned for it but I do not do well with my husband leaving town unexpectedly. Guess I better get use to that!

We then went on to Kohl's to get some picture frames. Maddy went with me while Brandon went to Radio Shack. I got nothing accomplished by the time he got back because Madison went to the bathroom 3 times. I guess after the third time she was tired of going so she decided to go POOP in her pants...I was furious. I know that you aren't supposed to punish them for accidents but it was so hard to keep my cool. When it was all said and done we made it home and headed to do the family thing.

We visited Brandon's grandmother's house with his mom's family, which is always fun and then headed to see my mom. We made it back home about 7:15 and finally had time to relax and enjoy each other. I miss him terribly but know that this is an amazing opportunity...God really answers prayers. I am so proud of Brandon and the lengths he will go to provide for our family. I am truly grateful for him, and not to mention the beautiful daughter we have:) I don't know what I would do without him. I love you babe!!

Well I guess since I have now written a book I will try and get some sleep. Hope everyone had a great Mother's Day.

Bittersweet

I am officially a quarter of a century old!! Where does the time go? To think that Brandon and I have been together for 7 years now, married for 2 1/2 and have a beautiful 2 year old daughter just blows my mind. it's actually a little scary how much faster it goes with children.

We have recently had some of our prayers answered...Brandon getting "THE job"! Wow did we have to wait long enough for this one. God certainly knew what he was doing. We went through a lot of trial and error before we won big. Brandon is very enthusiastic about his new adventure, although it comes with traveling (which he is NOT a fan of). We've kind of lived this way for a while when I was cheering and traveling from country to country, but things are much different when you have a family. We have gone into this making the best of it that we can. We know that it's up to us to make it work. He basically leaves on Sunday evenings and doesn't get home until Friday...I most definitely have a new appreciation for single parents! I don't feel like a single mom because we communicate all the time but just never having a relief from him is difficult at times. We really feel that this is going to be a great path for him. Luckily he doesn't travel too far, so I think very soon we will join him for a day or two. Shelly says it best...."I didn't think I could love him anymore, but when he's gone I love him more and more each day". I certainly think this has already opened my eyes to not take advantage of any second of any day. My husband is truly amazing!

And speaking of amazing, his parents (Larry & Phyllis) are the BEST!! We would not make it without them. They are the most loving, genuine, and loyal people I have ever known. Maddy thinks they are the coolest Mimi and Pa! Thank you so much for all that you do to help us...even if it's watching our child multiple times a week!
With that said, we have been blessed but it's a little bittersweet. We are very grateful.

Upcoming events...

So, this weekend should be fun. We are going to Easter egg hunt with our neighbors and Maddy's best friend Chloe tomorrow and take tons of pictures! We have also been invited to go to a friend's on Saturday for another egg hunt and then the big family extravaganza on Sunday...should be full of fun. Of course pictures will be posted soon!
I am also looking forward to my 25th birthday...whoa...mid-twenties! I always say that depending on who I am around determines how I feel about my age. For instance, my former cheerleader gals...OLD! No one is married with kids. My dance students or general society...young...they all think I am 16-20 years old! Please. And I am always tell Brandon that I will forever feel young because he will always be older than me, haha I love you!;) Not to mention I think having Madison at age 22 will always have it way of feeling like a "cool" mom. I think it will help me to understand what she will struggle with in life...oh my I don't even want to think about that right now.
Finally, Shelly's baby shower!! We now know that she and Justin will be welcoming baby Brooks in early August...if not before. I miss her terribly since they have moved but we talk almost everyday so that helps. Her shower is going to be May 30 and I can't wait..this will be the first time I have seen her since Madison's birthday in Feb.! I just remember how wonderful my baby shower was and I want to make hers just as memorable.
The next few months will fly by (as if the previous months haven't) but will be packed full of fun and memories, and in the end, isn't that what life's all about?:) Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and can remember what the day is all about...give all the glory to the One above.

Can we say...NO more diapers?!?

The past two weeks have been full of excitement and growth for my baby girl and the three of us as a family. Two weeks ago I started potty training Madison and within the first week she wore pull ups she never had an accident. We are now finishing our second week with still NO accidents!! I can't believe it has gone so well. I think it's safe to say she is officially potty trained...for the most part;) The only time we are still dealing with wet diapers/pull ups are overnight. During the day she will tell you everytime she needs to go and she always wakes up dry from nap time! Since this huge milestone has occured we decided to transition her crib to a toddler bed today. This is in hopes that if she does need to potty during the night, she will have the ability to get up and go. She slept great today for her nap but I am very anxious to see how she does overnight with no containment;) This is all happening so fast and reminds me of how big she really is. I abosolutely LOVE the age she is, but I miss how needy and dependent she use to be. Being a mom has truly shown and given me a love I never imagined was possible.

Potty Time!!

So....I don't want to jinx it, but Maddy is doing so well with potty training! We bought a potty seat when she was 16 months old because she was very aware of when she was going in her diaper. We are JUST NOW getting use of that potty. Starting last week, I got pretty strict on taking her the potty frequently throughout the day. This week is my Spring Break so I am determined to make it happen! I know that she won't be fully potty trained in a week, but just since yesterday (when I started) she is already telling me when she needs to go. She wore the same pull up today from the time she woke up until 5p.m.!! I was so proud. She even told me when she needed to go "poo poo" and she did it on the big potty. We obviously make a HUGE deal about it...I mean dancing and singing and clapping, etc. so SHE is now getting excited about going potty. She gets very upset when I say we have to put a diaper on for bed because she only wants to wear the pull ups. Anyway, so very excited about being out of diapers soon, yet sad because that means she really is a big girl:(